Rosie
25 July 2017 @ 10:01 pm
I'm so ridiculously behind on this.

The Belkin Tales, by Alexander Pushkin
I started reading these after a recommendation from Boy; he said that The Shot was possibly his favourite short story ever. I don't quite share that sentiment lol. The Tales consist of 5 different short stories ranging from gothic to romantic to tragic. As I understand very little of the literary conventions of early 19th century Russia, which Pushkin apparently influenced quite a lot, I'm probably not appreciating these stories as much as they deserve to be. For me, it was an okay read ~for a male. 3/5

Cat's Eye, by Margaret Atwood
GREAT GREAT GREAT. GREAT!!!!!!!! Maybe the first book ever that's made me dream about it. It's the story of a painter who returns to the city of her childhood/adolescence and reflects on the bullying she experienced as a child. There's a fantastically gothic quality to some of the narration, and I absolutely love how it handles the complexity of gender and sexism. It feels like this is the kind of fat, intense book that's omnipresent from male writers and it's kind of blowing me away to see a woman's experience dissected and laid out from her pov. 10/10
(tw self harm!)

The Price of Salt (Carol), by Patricia Highsmith
ALSO GREAT. It's about a lesbian couple in 1950s New York. I don't know if "sweet" is the right way to describe this - the narrator can get quite melancholic (and a little dramatic at times lol; understandable considering the circumstances), but Highsmith's prose has something so tender and affectionate to it, and a somehow very comforting attention to details. I'm not sure how to describe this best, except by saying that I enjoyed it a lot and I enjoyed how it made me feel. Bonus spoiler: there's a happy ending! 5/5
 
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Lucy
Insomnia, as I think we all know, is a bitch and it turns me into a bit of one. I think it does all of us to an extent. Who doesn't get a little bit cranky and snappy when they're overly tired? I get insomnia as a symptom of being schizoaffective, I get irritable as a symptom and I get irritable because I'm tired. It's all a vicious circle as most things are with mental health.

In a way I'm kind of used to not sleeping properly and most of my coping methods work most of the time. This is a special circumstance. I know I'm stressed and anxious, I don't deal with change and I'm not sleeping right because of it. I probably won't sleep right for weeks, if not months, because of it. I do have a prescription for sleeping pills if I need them and I hate them but I might have to rely on them for a while.

Too much of a lack of sleep makes all the other shit even harder to deal with... and as with vicious circles round and round we go.

S is also struggling to sleep properly because of the cast on her leg. She's not napping so much during the day either because she's not taking so many painkilers. S is not used to not getting enough sleep and she's getting really grouchy with it. She's also making herself wired by drinking caffeine to wake herself up but isn't doing anything to work off the energy... and so she can't sleep.
I feel really bad for her. She's has never had insomnia. She's seen me dealing with it for years and she told me that now she's experienced it just a little and has a vague idea of just some of what I go through, she told me she doesn't know how I cope. She made me cry when she cuddled me and said she was proud of me for keeping fighting through the darkness.

I feel really bad for J actually. He's got both of us suffering with sleep deprivation and being tired and irritable. How he doesn't yell at us when we're both being bitches I don't know. He just shrugs and says he knows he don't mean it, and he also said to me there'd be no point and that it would resolve anything. That man is a saint.

I probably had a point when I sat down and started to write but that was about 15 minutes ago now and I don't actually remember anymore. I'm tired, like the kind of tired where if I close my eyes too long I might actually go to sleep so I might crawl into bed. Even if all I do is nap for a few hours and I'm wide awake again after, I think that would be better than sitting here for 2 hours until 'bedtime'. I know I'm supposed to 'maintain regular sleep patterns' but I think in the current situation, sleeping when tired is more important.
 
 
Current Mood: tired
 
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now bring me that horizon...
25 July 2017 @ 12:36 am
shuts the computer down and goes to bed.
 
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now bring me that horizon...
24 July 2017 @ 11:10 pm
And watching "The Worst Witch", a children's show. Which would be relaxing except for all teh second hand embarassment I feel as the main character gets into all kinds of scrapes. I enjoy her acting though, her name is Bella Ramsey and she plays Lyanna Mormont on Game of Thrones. That child blows all the child actors in this show out of the water.
 
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now bring me that horizon...
23 July 2017 @ 05:52 pm


But this is an EPIC trailer. Well done trailer makers!!!
 
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Come Hell or High Water
23 July 2017 @ 02:03 pm
People in the past who used hot water bottles or bedwarmers or such things?

Are clearly people who did not let their cats sleep in the bed with them.

Two furry bodies smooshed up against my ribs and another one down by my feet? TOASTY WARM MUSYC. XD

(And Musyc-snoring, Sam-snoring, and Gidget-snoring all at once? I bet that was a heck of a symphony.)
 
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now bring me that horizon...
sense 8. will at least try 2nd season. i can def see why it got cancelled tho. way too fucking slow and while the actors have improved line delivery there are still problems right up til the 12th episode. i cant understand how they just let some of this thru to be honest. and i am cranky at how badly jonas is teaching will who the sensates are and what they can do. he just talks trash philosophy and alludes to shit instead of dropping concise facts and figures about what the fuck is going on.

Read more... )
 
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clover
22 July 2017 @ 08:30 am
 
 
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Lis
21 July 2017 @ 10:10 pm
 
Ah, that feels better. Mom came downstairs to oversee me dealing with my email, and while I did that she Happened to my apartment--it's all picked up and neat, clean dishes drying in the sink, and I could pull things apart and sweep and scrub bits that really needed scrubbing. And also get the emails and paperwork done.

Talk about my Mom's employment situation, which includes talk of politics and racism )

Media I'm consuming: the Holocaust, and politics in the Balkans )
 
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Lis
21 July 2017 @ 02:12 am
 
I need to get someone to sit with me and help me deal with work email, because I've reached the point of really, SERIOUSLY intending to deal with it... and achieving as much as opening my inbox in a tab, before I have to walk away from my computer for three hours to stave off a panic attack. There's not even anything that bad there! I'm just being... blah.

In better news, I had a good fannish week for once. I started a kinkmeme! ([community profile] omgsexplease)

Next week I'm going to Ottawa to visit my girlfriend, so that's nice.
 
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